i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
