Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's never too late to be topless.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
