My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
