So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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