Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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