Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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