conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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