So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
