: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
