please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize