You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
