In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
