Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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