Farmville is her only friend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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