He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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