just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
