Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
