? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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