the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
