it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
