real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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