Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
