I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
