she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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