i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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