The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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