Why does Corona taste like a burp?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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