8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
