Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
