Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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