I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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