She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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