the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
