I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
