apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
