new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
