maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
