So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
