Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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