Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
