Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
