At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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