Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
