I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
