I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
