my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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