hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
