you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
