i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she told me i tasted like america
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
