and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
