spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
