R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize