I wish life had little blips of pornography
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
