are you still at the devil's house?
My nipple is on Facebook.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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