yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
