So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
