Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
