Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
