I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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