my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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