I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it hurts more in the daytime
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
