What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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