He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
