no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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