I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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