Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
